Take It Off
by Rattlesnake Smile
Summary: Another song-fic, featuring Puck and Kurt.  Kurt ditches Warbler practice and Puck's a no show for Glee Club again.  What are they doing while the girls of New Directions perform their number?


Title: Take It Off  
Rating: PG-13  
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Puck/Kurt, Brittany, Blaine, New Directions, Sue and Will  
Genre: songfic  
Warning: some nice wholesome (in an unwholesome way) boy on boy action. Also, it's unbetaed, so if you point out any mistakes, I'll try to fix them as soon as possible.  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything about GLEE… yet. But if all goes according to plan. Come Monday morning. (cue evil laugh)  
Author Notes: was listening to "Take It Off" by Ke$ha and this idea popped into my head and I just went with it.  
Summary: set sometime during "Comeback" while Sue's in the Glee club. Completely disregarding both "Blame It On the Alcohol" and "Sexy". Kurt doesn't show up to Warbler's Practice, and Puck skips Glee. They 'get together' during Brittany's rendition of Ke$ha's "Take It Off."

* * *

Take It Off

"Has anyone seen Puckerman?" Mr. Shuester asked as he walked into the choir room, observing his hodge-podge collection of students… and Sue. New Directions stopped their conversations amongst themselves and turned to their teacher before turning to look at Lauren Zizes.

"Why the hell are you all looking at me?" the plus-size young woman asked defensively.

"Aren't you two dating or whatever?" Quinn asked semi-politely.

"No."

"Oh."

"Mr. Shue, I saw Noah leaving the school halfway through last period." Rachel volunteered, raising her hand while she spoke. "I personally feel that he should be forced to cooperate with us and show up to rehearsals on time. His bad attitude will bring everyone down and cost us a place at Regionals.

"I'll talk with him tomorrow Rachel." Mr. Shue assured the Hobbit-sized diva. "Now, since the boys are short one member, we'll let the girls do their number today. You ladies ready?"

"Yeah, you girls ready to set yourselves up for massive failure when we perform?" Artie asked mockingly.

"Oh, we're ready to bring the shame to you boys." Mercedes stated fiercely, standing up. "We need the auditorium for this." The other girls also started standing up.

"You ready Brit?" Santana asked her blonde 'friend.'

"Ready for what?" The clueless ex-Cheerio asked in return.

"To do that song we've been practicing." Quinn encouraged her friend.

"If Brittany's not up to it, I have an excellent song in my repertoire that would be perfect for the occasion." Rachel volunteered her unwanted input.

"No" the other girls said in unison.

"This is Brittany's number." Tina stated plainly.

Rachel grumbled something unintelligible in response as they all marched out of the choir room.

.

..

(GLEEGLEEGLEEGLEEGLEEGLEEGLEE)

..

.

"Hey, has anyone seen Kurt?" David asked as the Warblers all settled in for their club meeting, looking around for the fashionable counter-tenor. When they didn't see him they all turned to Blaine.

"Why are you all looking at me?" he asked, clueless.

"Because he's always with you." Wes supplied.

"He mentioned something earlier about his family, but his parents are still at work and Finn's at school so… " Blaine paused, shrugging. "Not a clue."

.

..

(GLEEGLEEGLEEGLEEGLEEGLEE)

..

.

"_There's a place down town, where the freaks all come around_." The voices of the girls sang from the darkness of the auditorium. "_It's a hole in the wall, it's a dirty free-for-all. And I _- " The lights suddenly turned on, shining spotlights on the girls while the other lights pulsed with the beat of the song. The girls were all lined up on stage in their best Ke$ha costumes with Brittany in the center, singing the lead.

Kurt and Puck stumbled through the door of the Hummel-Hudson household, laughing at each other as they kicked the door closed behind them. Puck's leather jacket disappeared almost immediately so he could flash his 'guns' to the world in his sleeveless shirt. Their lips met together in a hasty kiss, not so much romantic as passionate and consuming, a clash of teeth and tongue and bruised lips.

"_When the dark, of the night, comes around. That's the time_," Brittany continued to sing. "_That the animal_," Kurt's blunt yet manicured nails scratched down Puck's shoulder and biceps, leaving red lines in their wake, like claw marks, causing Puck to growl. "_Comes alive. Looking for,"_

"… something wild." Puck murmured against Kurt's kissable lips.

"_And now we're lookin' like pimps, in my gold Trans-Am. Got a water bottle full of whiskey in my hand bag_."

As they moved hastily through the hall and living room of the house, Puck pulled away and brought his flask of whiskey up to Kurt's lips who took a swig before reclaiming Puck's lips, sharing the alcohol.

"_Got my drunk text on, I'll regret it in the morning_"

Their hips came together forcefully and Kurt could feel his iPhone start vibrating, signaling that he was making a call.

"_But tonight, I don't give a, I don't give a, I don't give a_!" The girls continued singing, strutting around the stage for the gawking eyes of the boys… and Coach Sylvester. "_There's a place down town, where the freaks all come around. It's a hole in the wall_."

Puck slammed Kurt roughly (but not too roughly) against the wall by the stairs, his hand sliding past the counter-tenor and placing a hole in the plaster.

"_It's a dirty free-for-all. And they, turn me on_. _When they take it off."_ The ladies of New Directions started to remove the sleeves and sweaters of their outfits._ "When they_-"

"Take it off." Puck growled, pushing at Kurt's Dalton blazer.

"_Everybody take it off_!" More strutting and sexual poses from the New Directions ladies. "_There's a place I know, If you're looking for a show. Where they go hardcore-"_

The blazer now gone, Kurt was pushed back against the wall again, rougher this time, as Puck's hands ripped open Kurt's dress shirt, sending buttons flying everywhere and revealing the younger man's taunt muscles.

"_And there's glitter on the floor_."

A picture fell from the wall and shattered, sending glass across the hardwood floor, where it glittered in the light.

"_And they, turn me on. When they, take it-"_

"Off!" Kurt ordered, tugging anxiously at the football player's shirt, tearing it off eagerly as they finally started to make their way up the stairs to Kurt's room.

"_When they, take it off! Everybody take it off_!" Long dresses and track pants were gone to reveal mini-skirts and Daisy Dukes. Brittany started singing again. "_Lose your mind. Lose it now. Lose your clothes-"_

Kurt was pushing down Puck's already unbuttoned jeans while the jock fiddled with Kurt's belt and zipper.

"_In the crowd. We're delirious. Tear it down. 'Til the sun comes, back around. N-now we're getting so smashed. Knocking over trash cans_."

Kurt's trash can tumbled over as he tripped while trying to get out of his pants and shoes.

"_Eurbody breakin' bottles_-"

Puck faced a similar dilemma with his jeans, only he knocked over one of Kurt's cologne bottles, smashing it on the floor.

"_It's a filthy hot mess. Gonna get faded, I'm not the designated driver so I don't give a, I don't give a, I don't give a!"_ The boys of New Directions watched with wide, overeager eyes as the girls practically gyrated on each other. "_There's a place down town. Where the freaks all come around. It's a hole in the wall. It's a dirty free-for-all. And they_-"

"…turn me on." Puck said as he pressed against Kurt from their position on Kurt's bed, his lips licking a path up Kurt's neck.

"_When they, take it off. When they, take it off. Everybody take it off! There's a place I know, If you're looking for a show_." Santana pulled up her Catholic school girl skirt a little, flashing more leg. "_Where they go hardcore, and there's glitter on the floor. And they, turn me on. When they, take it off. When they, take it off. Everybody take it off!" _The lights stopped pulsing and dimmed as the spotlight shone mainly on Brittany.

"_Ooo-oohoah, Ooo-oohoah, Oooooooh_." She sang, looking like she was having a 'When Harry Met Sally' moment.

"**Everybody take it off**!" the boys sang in response.

"_Ooo-oohoah, Ooo-oohoah,-"_

"Oooooooh." Kurt moaned as Puck's fingers stretched him, getting him ready for something they hadn't done in weeks.

"_Right now." "_**Take it off**_!"_

"Right there!" Kurt moaned.

"**Take it off**_!" "Right now!" "_**Take it off!"**

"Ooooh." Both Puck and Kurt moaned as the larger teen finally slid in.

"_Right now!" _"**Take it off!"**

"Right there." Kurt groaned again as Puck began to move against him.

"**Take it off**!"

"Right there!: Kurt said again, his voice higher.

"_**Everybody take it off**_!"

"_There's a place down town, where the freaks all come around! It's a hole in the wall, it's a dirty free-for-all! And they, turn me on! When they, take it off! When they, take it off! Everybody take it off!" _The girls kept on singing, nearing the climax of their song. "_There's a place I know, if you're looking for a show. Where they go hardcore-"_

The headboard of the bed was thumping against the wall by now with as fast and furious as the two teens were going at it.

"_And there's glitter on the floor_."

The bottle of glitter that Rachel had left their after some project fell off Kurt's end table and spilled it's bedazzling contents all over the floor.

"_And they turn me on!"_

"Almost!""

"_When they, take it off_!"

"Almost, Noah!"

"_When they, take it off!"_

"I'm close, princess!"

"_Everybody take it off!"_

Both boys sighed with release as they hit there peak and climaxed together.

.

..

(GLEEGLEEGLEEGLEEGLEEGLEEGLEE)

..

.

Blaine lowered the phone from his ear, his face blazing red as the other Warbler's looked at him

"Well," David demanded. "What did Kurt say?"

"Um… well… you see…" Blaine stuttered before swallowing the lump in his throat. "He's busy." he finished lamely.

* * *

_So... Um, that was my first attempt at anything smut related. No, I take that back, my personal stories are full of sex scenes, I've just never tried it while matching it to a song. So, let me know what you think and if you think I should ever attempt something like this again, or if I should just crawl back into my hole and await the end of the world. Either way, reviews are crack, and I need some!_


End file.
